Abstract Dimensions

But then I come back from my reflective thoughts and decide on writing something that has been haunting my 'foreign' friends (ofcourse foreign would be a very relative term...I should have rather used 'Non-Indian' friends) - The Arranged Marriage setup....One thing that did strike me though when I was first asked about it was that we humans are a curious lot...We differentiate ourselves by cultures, religions, geographic locations, gender, color ....I bet the world would have been a much better place if we searched for commoness among us rather than the subtle diversity. Before I embark on my quest at defending my stance on why arranged marriages are not insane I do want to comment that I have nothing against the love marriage system, I guess a perfect simile would be the co-existence of both socialistic and democratic societies both having their own inherent flaws but still work perfectly in different societies.

So well as an FOB (Fresh of the Boat) to the land of my adventures (& some misadventures...the US) when I was first asked about the 'Arranged Marriage' system, I had no answers and had to dig into my rather shallow spontaneity to come up with one...ofcourse I was good at defending in what a billion people believed in..but it definitely made me contemplate
...of what was the norm in India was a fascination for my American friends. It did lead my aimless mind to a myriad thoughts...And here I bare my rather meditative musings.

To think about it arranged marriages are not really different to love marriages...think about it each of us have our own definitions of what we want in our partners....its just a differernce in how we seek them...as a proponent of the arranged marriage system one would just have to spill out what he expects from his/her partner while one who believes in love marriages has to explore them in their wannabe partners for life. Ofcourse in both cases I believe one would never find a perfect match but the compromises are mutual and that I believe sets the temperament of the who marriage institution. One of the main criticisms that I always hear includes about how can we be ever satisfied with something that our parents chose for us ... but that stems from an ignorance of the entire system. Brides and grooms just don't apprear from thin air, there exists a directed choice for both the girl and the guy ...if for some reason either of them do not like a personality they are free to oppose the choice in most cases the choice is taken seriously. I presume that anyone could make a better choice of partners in such a setting than random meeting at a bar or a concert where senses are dulled by the intoxication of the 'fun' environment around.

Everyone of us are made different in the perspective we have of life and on issues that we strongly believe in. Marriages thus bring two personalities with different beliefs (to point out they may not be starkly different) togather, trying to suppliment or compliment each other in deficiancies that our rather perfectionist eyes do not percieve in ourselves. Ofcourse in this regard I presume advocates of the love marriage system assert that exploring for what we yearn for is best done by oneself rather than by someone else. But my own sagacity lies in the fact that a more balanced judgement can be done by those who fathom our shortcomings and choose someone to compliment us. Marriages in this fasion bring people who had a rather similar background in terms of their social, economic, cutural and traditional values - this I percieve makes compatability between two individuals facile and more lasting.

My reservation on this isssue I believe will always be open for contradictions and debates but these debates will always lead to better understanding of differences ...Maybe one day we will learn to search for commoness in these contradiction of thoughts.
...And for those idle brains who digest only facts.....62% of marriages in the US lead to divorce while marriages in India are broken only by mortality ....'Until Death Does us apart'.
To conclude my rather long blog today I believe nothing is perfect in this world - no human, no relationship; we all are marred by contradictions & imperfections and that's what what make us alive and living. If we were perfect then we would be so plastic and since we are throbbing pulsating beings who have fears, thoughts, desires so we can not seek perfection.